By Olakunle Agboola – I had gone to see one of my adorable bosses who had spent almost all his life in the UK. He raised all his kids abroad but with a spiritual depth of Yoruba culture. We had alighted the car and went through the door entrance to the living room when I saw his 22-year-old daughter go down on her two knees to welcome him. I was shocked when she also went on her two knees to greet me. It was a deep reflection for me how certain African migrants abroad have continued to preserve African culture, while many have thrown it all in the garbage, down in western civilization.
Culture, as it is usually understood, entails a totality of traits and characters that are peculiar to a people to the extent that it marks them out from other peoples or societies. These peculiar traits go on to include the people’s language, mode of dressing, music, work, arts, religion, arts of dancing, and so on. It also goes on to include people’s social norms, taboos, and values. Values here are to be understood as beliefs that are held about what is right and wrong and what is important in life. Therefore, It might be difficult to separate a man from his ideals and culture.
I have argued about Africa’s obnoxious culture which does not speak to my sense of reasoning, but in all totality, there are many that I strongly feel we should uphold. I got talking with a UK Lawyer, Bolanle Odunlade over the weekend and she spilled the milk on why good African culture is losing its value among African migrants living abroad.
‘I met a young lady at a conference in London with strong British accents. She introduced herself as ‘Nikki Ola’, but the name got me thinking that she must be of Yoruba descent with ‘Ola’ ending her name. I asked if she is Yoruba and she assertively said yes. I laughed and said you must be ‘Nike Ola’. She corrected me that she is ‘Nike Olabosipo’. I could not help asking why she bears ‘Nikki Ola’ even though I might know the reasons.
I have seen many like ‘Nikki Ola’ whom we should thank their parents for giving them a good name but have changed it just to fit into the western culture. Many have said they want it to be easier for white folks to pronounce their names, which I feel, are within the ‘sensitivity of acceptance’. Why not allow the white man to make mistakes pronouncing your name and keep correcting him until he learns to pronounce it very well? This was the same mistake we made many years ago, especially during the ‘colonial era’, the Europeans started converting our languages and names because they couldn’t pronounce them. And for you to get baptized, you must adopt an English name.
In most African cultures, a lot goes into the making of a name. There is a belief that a name says a lot about the roots, lineage, future, and in some cases, a person’s destiny. The circumstances of birth and the impact such births have on the family are reflected in the newborn’s given name.When we change our names to English names, unconsciously we are conflicting with our identity and retarding African culture.
Another great problem here is the moral standard of raising our kids abroad. A lot of African parents are finding it difficult to raise their children imbibing African values, especially those that were born abroad. I remember telling my kids when they were growing up that they are British in school and wherever they go but at home, they are Africans, a Yoruba to be precise. In school, they tell them that they have a right, and ask them unpalatable questions that can attract social workers to start invading and questioning.
I don’t support smacking children into a state of coma but in African culture, we do not spare the rod of correction. In England, you don’t have the legal right to smack your child unless it is a ‘reasonable punishment’. If the violence you use is severe enough to leave a mark, for example, a scratch or a bruise, you can be prosecuted for assault. According to Child Law Advice: “It is unlawful for a parent or carer to smack their child, except where this amounts to ‘reasonable punishment’.
This defense is laid down in section 58 Children Act 2004, but it is not defined in this legislation. “Whether a ‘smack’ amounts to reasonable punishment will depend on the circumstances of each case, taking into consideration factors like the age of the child and the nature of the smack. I have helped many African parents living in the UK to find a balance in imbibing good African culture of raising their kids. Yes, we are living abroad but it will be too expensive to raise kids without letting them know who they are, and where they are coming from. They must have a sense of their language, a good mode of dressing, greetings, respect for elders, and cooking African food’’.
I think it will be a cultural denial and subjugation if a man does not know where he is coming from or identifies with his roots. African identity begins at home and it ought to be the foundation of knowing who you are. This is the case for Benjamin Jones who is a Yoruba by descent but knows nothing about his roots. This 32-year-old man grew up in the UK with his Yoruba parents who have dissociated themselves from African values and culture. Benjamin took it upon himself after the death of his parents to find himself, learning how to speak Yoruba and traveling to Nigeria to re-discovered himself.
It was Benjamin’s story of cultural loss that ‘Seyi’ continued to convince his wife why they must speak the Yoruba language at home so that the kids can learn. He feels a sense of obligation not to deny his kids of their African origins as this will help and shape their character Abroad.
‘Tomiwa’ believes that every parent of African descent must uphold African values, especially raising kids abroad.
‘Bodunde’ feels it won’t be good enough if we can’t transfer our African heritage to our kids and living abroad is not an excuse.
‘Bayo’ concluded that it is not good or fair enough not to identify with someone’s roots and it starts with our local dialects.
There is a crucial need to ensure that good African cultural values transcend any social, economic, or environmental components. In upholding African values and culture, we need to ensure the passing of knowledge and cultural traditions from one generation to the next. This can be done cross-culturally, by integrating indigenous-cultural dimensions from the home front. We must be cognizant of the structure, texture, and tendencies of local norms of raising kids. This might just be a good action plan for identity representation for Africans living abroad.
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