Dear Reader, anger is a universal problem. It is not limited to one age group, culture, race, economic level, social status, educational background, or any other classification. Unresolved anger is one of the chief contributing factors to the destruction of marriages, the breakdown of families, and the weakening of communities. It is a major cause of health problems and lack of productivity in workplaces, and it is a common denominator among juvenile delinquents.
My friend, anger is a serious problem. You many want to ask me, “Michael what causes it?” The root cause of a spirit of anger is tension from past hurts and guilt. This mixture of pain and guilt is cumulative and it erupts in anger when new offenses remind us of past experiences. Most people assume that hurtful events in the past will be forgotten and will have no effect on the future. That is not true. Past hurts do not just go away, nor does guilt simply disappear after a wrong response to a situation. Unless these experiences are resolved through repentance and forgiveness, we will continue to experience bouts of anger when our tension points are triggered.
Another cause of anger is pain of rejection in a person’s life, especially in childhood. A child forms strong attachments to parents, friends, and relatives and finds security in these relationships. When those who are trusted communicate rejection, the child’s secure world collapses and he faces a host of fears. The pain of rejection and the torment of fears can cause the child to develop deep bitterness toward the one who is responsible for his pain. When parents get divorced, their children typically experience the pain of rejection. Please for your children sake, stay in your marriage!
One of the greatest challenges facing every young person is that of accepting unchangeable features, such as physical appearance, mental capabilities, birth order, race, brothers and sisters, and parents. When someone mocks or ridicules a child who is already insecure, it is a devastating blow to his self-esteem. Ridicule does not just attack a child’s actions, it mocks him as a person. One who experiences ridicule will be extremely sensitive to anyone else who ridicules him or others. The anger he feels is motivated by a desire for the just punishment of anyone who mocks others.
When parents favour one child over another, they are not only damaging the self-worth of the child who is less appreciated, but they are also encouraging him or her to react toward the one who is favored. Favouritism to one will be seen as rejection by the other. The Biblical example of Jacob’s favour of Joseph over the rest of his sons is a classic example of this situation. Joseph’s brothers resented the favour Joseph received, and they sold him into slavery. Then they led Jacob to believe that Joseph had died. (See Gen. 39.)
A person’s reputation has great worth. Solomon wrote, “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold” (Pro. 22:1). A false accusation not only damages the one who is accused, but it also stirs up indignation and a desire to see the false accuser brought to justice. The mixture of guilt and pain that surrounds the memory of these experiences triggers anger when we hear of or face similar situations. Can you recall a past experience that deeply hurt you? How do similar situations cause you to express anger now?
Personal weaknesses are sometimes the root causes of anger. Some of these weaknesses may include the following, pride. Pride is assuming the authority that does not belong to us. Many conflicts arise simply because we step into another’s jurisdiction with efforts to control. No wonder others react to us in this situation. In turn, the rejection we experience as a result can then lead to more expressions of anger, which are often accompanied by bitterness. When we fail in specific areas, we tend to be very alert to other people who fail in the same areas. Unfortunately, the frustration we have toward ourselves is often redirected to them through harsh judgment. Also, when someone hurts or offends us, his or her actions may be partially justified, which can trigger an explosive combination of guilt and bitterness.
Generalisations is another root cause of anger. When someone who represents another group or race hurts us, we tend to project the misbehavior of one onto the entire group and often develop a general animosity toward everyone who is associated with that group.
When we become angry, we should identify the past experiences and personal failures that are contributing to our current frustration and seek to resolve them. Often, situations that are similar to ones in which we were hurt or in which we failed to do the right thing will trigger our anger. Usually the stronger the anger, the more pain and guilt there are from the past.
The Bible encourages us to avoid bitterness and anger, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:31–32). So how do we deal with anger? To be continued next week by God’s Grace. Remain blessed!
Jesus is Lord!
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