In a special blog for Mother’s Day 2022, mother-of-four Police Constable Joy Kyei talks about making her children proud even when the murder of George Floyd threw up difficult questions about her career choice.
“I was a teenager when I decided to ‘infiltrate’ the Met Police. Growing up in South East London, I was one of very few black people in my area and the only black child in my class. When two of my friends were murdered through racism I found that the police response was shocking. I resolved that when I grew up I would make a change from the inside.
“Years passed and I met my husband and before I knew it, I was a mum of three and a housewife – a full-time job, as any mother will attest! Policing wasn’t the career for me after all, I thought.
“I returned from the school run one day and turned on the radio, where I heard an advert for female special constables and decided to sign up now my kids were all of school age.
“As Special Constable Kyei, I worked ‘the beat’ in Westminster for free but on my own schedule. I loved it so much that my paid colleagues told me I should become a “regular” police officer but I laughed the suggestion off – I had three kids for goodness’ sake!
“There it was again, an inner voice casting shade over my ambitions. Then I found out I could work part-time as a police officer and that was it – I signed on the dotted line, age 32, and embarked on an 18-week recruits training course.
“It was tough dropping three under-10s off each morning, then driving across London for day after day of intensive training, but my kids were the gasoline that kept the fire burning – I wanted them to have a better childhood than I or my friends had experienced.
“I was glum in the weeks leading up to my ‘passing out parade’ – the police graduation ceremony – though. With hundreds of officers graduating, we each got only two tickets for loved ones to attend the event but I had three kids I wanted to share the moment with!
“I had a new police family too, though. When the people I’d trained side-by-side with for almost five months found out I was down, they did what good people do – they stepped up. Colleagues gifted me their guest tickets, ’til I had enough for my all my children and family to watch me on my big day. I was humbled.
“Motherhood aside, becoming a police officer was the biggest achievement of my life and I felt so proud to stand before my children that day.
“Then a few years later my life turned upside down when my family situation took a turn, I divorced and my childcare support network disintegrated. My inner doubter declared I couldn’t juggle single motherhood and crime fighting – but my police family came to my aid again.
“When I strode into my inspector’s office, handed him my warrant card and told him I was resigning, he promptly explained I wasn’t going anywhere! He and his managers came up with a plan to make work, work for me.
“Similarly, when I dismissed the idea of developing in my career after having my fourth child, it was a sergeant – herself a mother – who encouraged me to aim high; life in the Met was going pretty swimmingly.
“Then George Floyd was murdered by an officer.
“Suddenly my grown-up children were asking tough questions I struggled to answer, like ‘are the police racist?’ and ‘why are you still working for the Met?’.
“A new inner voice emerged – one that remembered my friends who were killed and seemingly disregarded by the police. This voice doubted not me, but my police family.
“After some soul searching, I remembered my good colleagues that had never let me down, and I wasn’t going to let them, my children or the black community down by bowing out when the going got tough.
“Instead, I made a positive change by setting up the Black Police Network Strand. The group is helping give colleagues the confidence to thrive as Black African/Caribbean Met officers and together we’re proudly showing everyone else the value we bring both as human beings and through our heritage.
“Now, when my children ask me tough questions about policing, I can hand on my heart say things in the Met are changing – because I am doing my best to join others in changing it.”
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